Honeymoon Musings

Alternate Title: Be Still My Beating Heart

Mr. Kettle and I have been discussing on and off plans for our honeymoon. It's been a pretty big deal in our house because our choice to go on a week-long honeymoon right after our wedding affected lots of other decisions in the rest of our life.

We want to do this honeymoon right. We want romance, relaxation, and a trip to somewhere that will be warm in February while also some place neither of us have visited. We've come up with Hawaii and Puerto Rico.

Seeing as how Mardi Gras is such an important day in the course of our relationship, I thought it would be fun to extend the honeymoon to include a stopover in New Orleans for the holiday.

That would mean a flight to an island the Monday after our wedding. Staying there til Sunday (6 nights, woot!), and then flying to New Orleans and staying there until Wednesday, when we would fly back to Chicago and officially start our married lives.

For both of us, that's not too much travelling. It could prove to be too much money. Also Mr. Kettle isn't sure if he wants to use up almost all his days off just for our honeymoon. We're still discussing it, but I've realized what I want. And that is a honeymoon on an island followed by keeping our promise to each other to spend Mardi Gras 2012 together as a newly married couple.

I didn't even realize at first that Mardi Gras was so close after our wedding. I think it's perfect and I wish I could go back in time to tell Mardi Gras 2011 me that it would all turn out just as Mr. Kettle drunkenly promised.

With this idea now firmly planted in my head, I went online to begin checking out hotel prices in Hawaii. I figured I'd start with the most expensive option and work down from there til we found something that could work for our projected budget.

But then, I had the most unexpected moment I've experienced since getting a beautiful pink sapphire ring put on my finger. My heart skipped a beat. I've been trying like the Dickens to avoid any connection between our wedding and Valentine's Day.

But our honeymoon and Valentine's Day? Oh hell yes. I went to check rates at all three Hawaii Hyatts and my pulse quickened when I selected the start date the day before Valentine's Day. As a woman who loves her some holidays, I would be over the moon to have my honeymoon include both Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras. Those are two of the year's biggest holiday celebrations that don't require you to love and dine with family.

I could spend those newlywedding it up with my new husband. Lounging on the beaches in Maui, sipping hurricanes in New Orleans. Him having a great opportunity to play his sax and sit in with a band. I've demanded he bring his horn to our honeymoon because I'm clairvoyant and I know it will be used. How awesome is that? Oh please oh please God, make this happen for us!

Image via Honeymooners Review

Image via Destination 360

Figuring Out Flowers - Our First Florist Interview

Our first interview was so lovely! If y'all know me by now, y'all know I was ready to sign that day and forgo the other meetings. But, as usual, Mr. Kettle and Momma Kettle encouraged me to go to the other meeting I'd setup in order to "explore my options." Whatever, we'll go to the meeting and see what the other people have to say.

This first meeting was with The South Loop Floral & Events Gallery. They really have some beautiful stuff there.

I woke up late and still had to go pick up Grandmother Kettle. We didn't get there until about 5:45. The appointment was at 5:00. On-time fail. When we arrived, Momma and Mima Kettle were both there, discussing some things with the florist. They hadn't gotten to into though because they were waiting for me.

We dove right in and discussed so many things. I was in love in roses. I still am. There's just one hiccup. My desire for a sea of roses for the wedding...?


Image via eFoodAlert Blog

Yeah, well, that didn't seem to be a real possibility because roses apparently cost double around Valentine's Day. And here I thought they'd be easier to acquire because growers prepare for the need for larger numbers of roses. I wasn't too keen on paying double just to have all my roses, so I started looking through books to see what other flowers struck my fancy.

All I came up with at first were beautiful-but-out-of-season-and-therefore-also-expensive tulips. I know I tend to have expensive taste, but darnit, this was not a good start. Everything I looked at that looked similar to a rose but not quite turned out to be a rose just opened all the way, or just from a different angle. I finally buckled down and forced myself to be open to more options.

Mima Kettle had graciously offered to pay for the bouquets, bouts, etc. for the wedding party. This is because she's amazing! She likes the look of roses too and once she said she thought they'd make a good base flower, I immediately felt better. I didn't feel like I was starting from scratch with my inspiration for flowers. That made it much easier to find great flowers.

Fast forward to four hours later. Yes, you read that right hive. We were at the florist for 4 hours. Those people must've really wanted our business if they sat there talking flowers with us for 4 hours!! We talked bouquets, bouts, corsages, ceremony decorations, receptions decorations, aisle runners, and we had come to pretty firm decisions on them all.

I won't go into all the details here, but I will tell you what flowers I ended up choosing. I thought I'd go into there, pick out a couple of their pre-arranged setups and move on with my day. I should have known better because nothing we've done with this wedding has been off the pre-prepared menu options.

Image via Keisha's Creations Blog

The ivory-colored roses in this bouquet are called Vendella roses. Those will be our base flower for all the ladies' bouquets (including mine) as well as the groomsmen, bridesmen, and groom's bouts, and the reception table decorations.

Image via BuyFlowersOnline

This bouquet features green roses. I wasn't too keen on the roses at first, but I've been dying to find a way to get some green into this wedding. This will really look fantastic next to the other ivory, white, and purple flower options coming up. This flower will be in all the bouquets except mine, the best mens' bouts, and in the table decorations.

Image via Only Roses

This champagne rose will be featured only in the corsages for the Hostesses (aka female ushers, still sorting out their title).

Image via Landscape-And-Garden

These white cymbidium orchids will be appearing in my bouquet, in the mothers'/important womenfolk corsages, fathers'/important menfolk bouts, and in the groom's (increasingly extravagant) bout.

Image via Fifty Flowers

 This green cymbidium orchid will be seen in the mothers'/important womenfolk corsages.

Image via Hydrangeas Hydrangeas

These green hydrangeas will be making an appearance first in the ceremony decoration bouquets that will serve as a sort of altar. That arrangement will be doubling as the table decorations for the two parents' tables at the wedding. They will also be in the table arrangements for all the reception tables.

Image via Pictures 13

 These white freesias will come into my bouquet, the groom's bout, and the table decorations for the reception.

Image via 1 Stop Florists

White lilies will be just like the green hydrangeas and will be in the ceremony decoration bouquets that will serve as a sort of altar. That arrangement will be doubling as the table decorations for the two parents' tables at the wedding. They will also be in the table arrangements for all the reception tables.

Image via pBase

This lovely bright flower is called Status. In purple, these little babies will be everywhere! They will serve as filler in basically every floral arrangement in the wedding.

Now, I have an obsession with greenery and twiggy-looking filler, so we'll be having some sort of wintry greenery (that's yet undecided) that will serve as the greenery in all bouquets, bouts, and corsages. Also, the reception table decorations will have both bear grass and curly willow. Lastly, I want some sort of berries in there. Don't ask why, I just do. I didn't want red though, so we got another pop of green!

Image via Lubz's Floral Design / Calla lilies are not my thing, but this is a great bouquet that shows all the unique things you can do with bear grass.

 I had the following picture in my floral inspiration post. It was very hard to find a lot of photos online of what I wanted. Most have the curly willow outside the vase, not inside, like how I want it.

Image via Flower Girls of Tulsa

Image via Pen + Posy Blog

Beautiful winter greenery options, though I was looking for something that looked more like a Christmas tree...


Image via Save-on-Crafts

Green berries! I think they will look lovely in the bouquets, bouts, and table decorations.

 After typing out all these flower selections, I'm starting to see how we could have been at that florist for four hours. 4 hours!!! So much time. But there are so many people in our wedding party, figure out the different combos of flowers took one hour by itself.

The price quote they gave us was well within the budgets that we all had in mind, which was awesome! I'm glad I compromised and included more flowers than just roses. This first florist worked so hard, they are going to make the job of the second florist so much easier.

To sum up the day, here is a cartoon I drew just for you hive.

I don't know if it would be better to go in to the second florist with a fresh slate or to go in armed with my hard-earned flower decisions. I don't want to be closed off from more inspiration, but I also don't want to spend another 4 hours of my life, Momma Kettle's life, Grandmother Kettle's life, and Mima Kettle's life sorting out flowers again. We'll see what happens Thursday, I guess.

How many florist meeting did you have? Did you flower choices reflect your floral inspiration?

What's In A Name? Wedding Party Edition

Hive, I've got one very large and mixed up wedding party. I've got through it all before, but it's about to happen again. Bear with me.

I have a maid of honor, a best man, 6 bridesmaids and 2 more guys standing up with me.
Mr. Kettle has a best man, a maid of honor, and 8 groomsmen.
We have 2 jr. bridesmaids, 2 flower girls, 2 ring bearers, 2 ushers, and 3 hostesses.

There's been some discussion of what to call all these non-traditional wedding party members. My dad just calls them all bridesmaids and groomsmen. That doesn't sit too well with my 3 guys standing up with me. They're not bridesmaids after all.

Momma Kettle and I had a conversation about it that went something like this:



Another personal cartoon of questionable quality. Eventually I'll figure out the best way to color/photograph these.

We immediately saw that we didn't really see eye to eye on what to name all these members of the wedding party. We have to come up with a pretty firm way of naming these people so it will be the same in all our wedding literature. I'm thinking about wedding newsletters and of course the actual programs for the wedding.

Plus, I'd like the next time Daddy Kettle brings up my people, he doesn't call them something that makes them not want to admit participation.

I'm pretty sure we're definitely going to call our four main people best men and maids of honor. We'll just each have a best man and maid of honor. No one seems to be struggling with those titles.

But then there are all the others. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are easy enough. But should I really be calling my guys "bridal attendants"? And why would anyone call them "honor attendants"? Doesn't that take away from the maids of honor? Maybe I should just call them "bridesmen"? I dunno hive. Help please!

And then there are the ushers/hostesses. It would be easier to just call all of them ushers. Growing up in the churches we both did, ushers are a part of church service and they can be guys and girls, but in the wedding world, aren't ushers traditionally guys only? Should I just leave them as hostesses and ushers or should I call them all ushers?

I'd like to settle this for once and for all. I don't want to make people uncomfortable with their titles. Maybe there's some way to just generalize it and call them "Miss Kettle's Wedding Party" and "Mr. Kettle's Wedding Party"?? I'm going into title overload here. I'm sinking and could use some good old hive logic!

Planning For Inclement Weather

Most weddings happen in the summer months. June is the most popular month for weddings. People fight over getting the perfect wedding day.

Image via Gazillion Movies

I have avoided this issue by choosing to get married in February. Mr. Kettle and I have been very happy with our selection of wedding date. But there is one possible hitch to our happy wedding: winter Illinois weather.

There was a terrible storm this past winter. In Chicago, a little snow doesn't bother us. But when this storm was on it's way, people went to the grocery store and then went home. They didn't come back out for at least a couple days. There were no cops or buses on the street; who would drive a vehicle through a few feet of snow? There was no one out except Walgreens employees.

I didn't think too much about that happening to our wedding. I figured that through sheer will, the weather would be nothing but a bit of sunshine and light snow. I'd stand there in my pretty dress with the matching veil and perhaps a lovely fur coat taking in a few snow flakes and hopefully some wintry sunshine. Kind of like this.

Personal cartoon. Yeah, you all will be subjected to my cartoons now... I mostly put on the coat so Mr. Kettle won't see the part of the dress he doesn't know about.

But when Hurricane/Tropical Storm sidelined a few weddings, I started thinking about the real possibility that something could happen to keep my wedding from occurring on the day or at the location we're planning on. At our tasting next month, I will bring up the issue with our venue to see if they have any contingency plans they go with for winter events.

That is not enough for me though. I looked online and found wedding insurance. My best internet friend Google brought up four sites that I took a look at.

They are: Wedding Protector Plan, WedSure, WedSafe, and The Event Helper.

After looking at all the options, it's really best that I consult with our venue to see which one of these would be best for us. I'm not sure how much coverage we need and what our backup wedding plan is. Also, I don't know if we should be getting coverage just for postponing the event. Perhaps we should add photographer coverage, deposit coverage? And what in the world is professional counseling coverage?

I'm thinking worst case scenario, we can get over to my church which is right across the street from my parents' house and next door to my pastor's house. We could get married there even in a blizzard, we'd just have to figure out a party to celebrate with family and friends later. There's a lot to figure out, but I've got a couple of months to sort it out.

Are you getting wedding insurance? Are you worried about Mother Nature altering your carefully laid plans?

Figuring Out Flowers - My Inspiration

Our first meeting with a possible photographer is tomorrow afternoon, so I thought now would be a good time to share with the hive my inspiration for flowers. At just under 5 months (151 days to be exact), I feel like we're moving a bit slow on the florist front.

I felt a bit paralyzed and unable to start one major vendor search until a previous one was completed. But as soon as we made our decision on photographer/videographer, it was time to make appointments for photographers. I will tell you which three photographers I hope to meet with and choose from eventually, but first, my inspiration!!

Momma Kettle and I talked about at least as much as anything else we discussed about the wedding when it was still a vague concept in our minds. I knew I wanted lovely rose bouquets for me and the girls, and lovely rose bouts for the guys and corsages for the other important ladies. Luckily, Mima Kettle had this idea too. I love it when we're all on the same page!

I also knew I wanted flowers as the main focus of the table centerpieces. I wasn't sure how I wanted it to look until Momma Kettle mentioned the words "flower box." As soon as she said it, the words have stuck with me. I imagined a lovely fancy wedding version of the full flower boxes you see outside the windows of beautifully decorated houses and apartments. She didn't like this image at all, but I was stuck there and wasn't budging. I began scouring for images that could put together what I imaged. My idea evolved to not be a wooden or plastic box with dirt showing to something more like a bouquet in a box to a bouquet in a glass box.

I don't remember exactly where, but one of the bees linked to a website that showed a ton of pictures that were exactly what I had been seeing in my head. So many options, all in one place. I finally had the perfect inspiration to show my mother and our potential florists. I had visions of dead-on quotes from florists and my mother happily acquiescing to my vision with no complaints. Would you like to see what my inspiration/vision is hive? Of course you do!

All images below via Flower Girls of TulsaSouth Loop Floral Gallery. We found them when we were searching for an engagement party venue. This florist had within their shop the only arches I've ever seen that I didn't dislike on site.



I don't know if the glass is colored or there is purple water in here, but I love the color. My mother hates that you can see the stems, I love that you can see the stems.



I like the random arrangement of stems in the bottom, plus all the greenery on top. I really want wintry greenery incorporated into my flower arrangements.



White roses! I'm in heaven. Throw in some sort of berry and we're there!



I know I love this idea because I even like it with so much pink!



Various glass shapes and rose colors. Hadn't considered that, but I am now!



Various boxes that aren't just glass... Hmmm, maybe.

Who are the photographers I'll be presenting with these pictures? I'll tell you as we actually schedule the meetings. First up is the

And what do they have on the very front of their main webpage?

Image via South Loop Floral Gallery

This is a good sign. A very good sign.

I'm going to this meeting with Momma Kettle, Mima Kettle, and Grandmother Kettle. Between the four of us, we're sure to overwhelm whoever takes that meeting, but I know we'll walk out with a clear idea of if they can give us what we want in the price range we'd prefer.

Wording Wedding Invitiations

Momma Kettle and I working out wedding invitation wording. It took a whole night of sitting at the dining room table at her house. We bugged Daddy Kettle, Mr. Kettle, and both Mima and Poppa Kettle about spellings for the invitation. But we got it worked out.

I know she and I are both very particular about certain things, but I really didn't think it would take that long. Naive and foolish I was. I want to go over what we came up with, without revealing our actual wording, of course. And I need your help hive.

Host Line

Image of host line on invitation via Epiphany Events edited by me

People choose all sorts of ways to do this part of the invitation. My parents are paying for the whole wedding, so they're names are definitely going on the host line, but Mima and Poppa Kettle are helping out financially and so many other ways that they're going on the invite too. It was a pretty easy decision as it's been important to all of use since the engagement was official to be all in it together and really join together as a family.

Reception Card

Reception card image via custompaper.com

Our ceremony and reception are going to be in the same place, requiring no travel. We figure that's best since our wedding is in Illinois in February. So, we decided not to have a reception card. It would be a waste of money and paper.

RSVP Cards

Image via Photocard Chef

This RSVP card is lovely, but it's far too simple for our needs with our wedding. We have to give people a date to RSVP by otherwise they won't bother (our engagement party showed us me that). We have to tell them how many seats are reserved for their household so they don't bring extra guests who won't have food at the reception.

We have to have lines for them to write out the names of all attending guests since... ahem... we don't actually know how to spell all the names of invited guests (like some of Mr. Kettle's cousins' kids... and some significant others of my cousins...). We also have to have them choose a food selection so we know what to order. Having an exact food order will make a difference of up to $1000 in price for reception food, so We.Need.To.Know!

And lastly, I really want some cute and fun wording for the RSVPs or to leave a space for guests to write notes. I've seen it in so many bee invitations and I want it! But how do I make that fit on an already overstuffed card? I've hand-drawn the basics for you to see what I'm visualizing. I apologize for the crappy blackberry phone, but I had no other options at the time of this post.

Personal extra crappy photo. I tried to adjust the photo so you could see it better. You can get the basics, right?

1. So I need something better than Accept/Decline, but I don't have a lot of room for extra words. I want something clever. This is where you come in hive. I need suggestions that are fun, but not so cheeky that Momma Kettle and Mr. Kettle veto them immediately. Please help!

2. Yes, we really do need that many lines. Most of our households have at least 4 people in them, and several have more. 4 was splitting the difference. None of us are going to make hundreds of phone calls to track these people down for name spelling. And we need it so we have it for once and all. Also, we have to have a seating chart, which means place cards, which means we need lines for names.

3. What should I put on the back? Should I leave room for notes? How about a drawing? How should I word my request that I want people to get creative with their responses? Will it be overkill since I'm requesting something similar for our guestbook at the wedding?

Hive, I know you can help me. You will save me from myself and my desires that don't have a creative support.

I'm Ready For My Close Up - Choosing A Photographer

So I know you all are dying to hear which photographer we went with. I'm sure it will be a huge surprise and all that. Drum roll please...

Drum roll via heropress.net

No, no no! Cute drum roll please...

Image: cute drumroll via Macam Macam Ada Shop Blog

That's better. Okay, so we're going with . If you read my first posts about our photographer, you're not surprised by this news. As much as I loved our second option, I just couldn't get down with their prices.

I asked Mr. Kettle to tell the woman when she called back that we were going to go with another photographer because we just couldn't make the budget work with their prices, but that we appreciated their time. He told me he'd take care of it and I didn't have to worry another thought about it. I love it when that man takes care of business!

Then I pulled out the information from Jolie Images and called them back. I informed them I wanted to sign a contract for their services and I will be going into their office before work one day this week to sign on the dotted line. I'm so excited to have another thing crossed off the list.

So far we have clothes for everyone except the hostesses, a venue, a photographer and videographer, our musicians for ceremony and reception, our officiants, and a stationer. We still need to choose our menu (scheduled for next month), pick a florist (meeting scheduled all this month), find clothes for the hostesses (eh, I don't know), find a day-of-coordinator, and all the major details will be done. That's about 60% done. That's not bad for only being engaged 3 months. But then again, we only have 5 more months to go. Yikes!

I'm Ready For My Close Up - Our Second Photographer Option

After our meeting with our first photographer, I was really looking forward to having our meeting with our second photographer. From all the glowing review from Mima Kettle and FSIL Grand, I knew I'd enjoy that meeting as well.

Image: Bella Pictures

They opted to do a conference call meeting with Mr. Kettle and I because our schedules are horrendous and that's the only way we'd be able to meet within a couple weeks. Mr. Kettle and I were at Mima and Poppa Kettle's house when the call came in. The woman we spoke to was friendly and excited about our wedding. She was excited to show us the options for what they could do for us. And they were having a 40% of sale. Winning!

Mr. Kettle really took the lead for this photographer, which made me very happy. After being so satisfied after our first interview, my excitement for these second photographers was surface level at best, so he provided the buoy of excitement.

Image: Buoy by blog.SILive.com

She gave us her spiel and it all sounded pretty lovely. They were able to provide the same services as the other people we met with. They knew our budget and said they could make it fit. Things were a la carte, but with that 40% off, I was hopeful that something could be worked out.

Then... well... I went from hopeful to just plain disheartened y'all. She added up what we wanted and it came to a ridiculously high number. First, imagine you're in Chicago at Chicago prices. Then read through what all we wanted and see what number you guess in your head. I want to read this in the comments section people.

1. Photography for the whole day at one location, including getting-ready-shots. Basically 9.5 hrs.
2. Videography also for the whole day.
3. A portrait setup for the reception.
4. A wedding album for us, including copyrights to all photos available as a disc.
5. A wedding video, plus all the unedited footage on separate DVDs.

Her price? $1000? Nope. $2000? Keep going. $3000, not there yet. $4000? Take out the album and the rights to the photos and the unedited footage of the wedding, and we came in just under $4000. That's including the the 40% discount.

After regaining consciousness, I asked Mr. Kettle to put her on hold. I then asked him to see what our budget we told her ($2500) could get us. She ran through the numbers again and told us we could get a photographer and videographer for the reception, pictures of our wedding party during the cocktail hour (not before like I'd much prefer), and the main highlights of the reception (i.e., the first 2 hrs). We still would have to order everything else a la carte.

I was just... I still can't find words for how I felt in that moment. Those exorbitant prices were why I gave up on photographers originally and began to get stalked by them on my e-mail and voicemail. So we could shell over $2500 (before taxes and tip and travel charges) and get our photos and videos taken. We just wouldn't be able to get any record of it without shelling over almost that much again. That's right, if we got everything we were being offered by the first place.

I was suddenly glad the meeting wasn't face-to-face because I know I have no poker face, and I would've given her one of these:

Personal photo: thinly veiled displeasure face

Mr. Kettle heard the rest of her options. She asked us if there was any wiggle room in our budget, and he said maybe. She said she would get with her boss and see what they could do for us.

I didn't know how they could get the price down any further on top of already having the sale for 40% off. After having seen their pictures, I knew we'd get a great photographer, if it was in our budget.

Want to see some photos of their lovely work?

All pictures via Bella Pictures

In the next post, I'll tell you who we chose.

How To Be A Rebel Bride - Wedding Party Attire Edition

I like to consider myself a rebel in some respects. I know it's wholly not true, but it's really fun to talk and blog about. So in continuing with the rebellious spirit of previous posts, I'd like to cover all the "rebellious" things that concern our wedding party attire that have gone down so far.

Bridesmaid Dress Price Shopping
Our actual dresses are not very rebellious. In fact, the dresses are some of the most popular being sold by Bill Levkoff right now.

Image: Bill Levkoff #537 via The Knot

What makes the dresses rebellious was our search for the lowest price. Those on a budget understand this. You can't settle for the first price a store tells you, especially if it seems ridiculously high. Thanks to Google (my best internet friend) and you ladies here at the hive, I've found the lowest possibly price for this dress available right now online.

We pushed back ordering the dress by two months in an effort to secure the lowest price. We know our dresses are now set to deliver the week of Christmas, which is a recipe for disaster. We're rebels though, so we took that chance. We may be using scissors and my old ass Singer sewing machine to hem the dresses, but we'll make it work.

Bridesmaid Dress Selection
In a previous post, I discussed dress shopping for the bridesmaids, maids of honor, jr. bridesmaids, and flower girls. I glossed over our selection process, but I want to highlight it now.

As a bride that is pretty opinionated about clothes, I took a step back and decided not to force dresses on my girls they wouldn't love wearing. The best pictures come from when you're feeling beautiful inside and out, and I wanted that for my girls.

At both stores we dress hunted, they picked out every dress they tried on. I only glanced at the dresses, and I made not one single selection for them to try on. They grabbed all the dresses they thought they would look good in. My only input was to veto dresses that I definitely didn't want them wearing. This basically included one should gowns and gowns with useless fabric.

Image: One Shoulder Bridesmaid Dresses by BuyWeddingDresses.org
I don't know why, but I am not a fan of one shoulder dresses

Image: Bill Levkoff #628
Seriously?! It's the faux bow that I meant, but just look at this number! If anyone knows someone who looks amazing in this gown, please send me a pic 'cause I won't believe it 'til I see it!

My Wedding Dress
I'm not going to show a picture of it again, but I have in a previous post. Just go look through my older posts so I don't have to send Mr. Kettle away, I like when he reads my posts (Stalker!).

My dress is not white. I told Momma Kettle I'd be wearing something other than white. I don't think she really believed it until we were putting down a deposit on my coffee/natural dress.

Also, my dress is tea length. I'm not having a train, and I will be showing off my fabulous shoes all night!

I didn't go full rebel and wear a birdcage veil. My mother wants me in a fingertip length veil with a blusher, and we found one that looks amazing, so that's what I'll be wearing.

Clothes For The Groomsmen/Groom
I let Mr. Kettle pick out the clothes for the men. I told him and GM Light that they simply had to get a tux or suit in gray or black and hopefully have the option of a colored tie/vest combo and I left it at that. Lots of brides wouldn't leave it up to their guys, but I went out on faith.

I regretted it when he came back calling colored vests prom-y and wanting to wear an ascot. After a couple of weeks of rough conversations about it, we reached a compromise. This made things go much smoother.

In the end, we stuck with the original plan and Mr. Kettle is picking out what he wants, not what I'd prefer. I guess Mr. Kettle is a rebel too, huh? He got his way and I know the guys will look fabulous on our wedding day. The more I get used to the idea of the clothing selections, the more I'm excited to see how it all comes together.

Clothes For The Ushers and Ring Bearers
Well now, hive, if you've gotten to know me by now, you know I have a mild control freak streak in me and Mr. Kettle has turned me into a world class person-who-compromises. Our compromise for the groomsmen wearing what he wanted was that the ushers and ring bearers would wear what I wanted.

I want the ushers to match the hostesses so the 5 of them match up but remain inconspicuous as they move around getting things done. And the ring bearers have to be tightly coordinated with my clothes since they and the flower girls will be the last down the aisle before me.

Have you made any decisions for clothing that went against tradition or the obvious desires of others? Are you a real rebel?

Extra, Extra, Read All About It!

My best man, BM Doc, has an older brother who was engaged while we were in college. His wedding party was spread out geographically. The best way for him to keep everyone in the loop was to let them know is a very classic way: a newsletter.

I loved this idea then, and I love it still now. While we have five people in our wedding party out of town, that's actually only a small fraction of our hugely large wedding party. But needing to keep everyone on the same page has been... a task.

In order to better serve the needs of our my sanity, I came up with a great newsletter. This isn't just for the bridesmaids though. It will go to the bridesmaids, the jr. bridesmaids and bridal attendants, the groomsmen, the parents of the flowers girls and ring bearers, and also to the ushers and hostesses. That's a lot o' mail to send out. But it will be worth it to keep anything from falling through the cracks.

I'm not sure how often I'll have to do these newsletters, but this one was right before the 6 months-to-wedding mark, so there's no way to tell. In this newsletter, I covered: an introduction of who was all in the wedding party (in case anyone didn't know yet); a reminder of our engagement party in 2 weeks; information about our changed venue; clothing FAQs, as we're coming up on the date to order these items; other cute-sy things.

I tried to make it interesting visually and interesting to read. Lots of white space, nice graphics, pictures, and a fluid layout are all essential to making a great newsletter. It wouldn't be my first choice, but I made the whole thing in our wedding colors. The taupe came out a bit too orange, but I think it will do.

I imagine I'll have to do another one of these at least in December right before the bridal luncheon. And probably another one in January for the wedding shower and bachelor/bachelorette party. And of course, one with final instructions leading up to the wedding weekend.

And of course, by now you're dying to see the newsletter. No? Well, I want you to see it anyway. Tell me what you think of the layout. I used a screenshot so you could see the intended taupe color instead of what came out of the printer.

The writing really didn't look as small on the printout as it looks in the picture.I was really hoping they would like it. I didn't intend to come up with anything so awesome that people are putting it in their scrapbooks, but I did want to keep them abreast of everything without having to make 40 calls. Score one for finding a way to have less stress with my gargantuan wedding party.





Okay hive. I first wrote that post right after I made the flyer, about 10 days before our engagement party. I must confess, I never actually sent it out. Organization FAIL. But it was a great first try and I'm looking forward to doing it again in the next couple months, and actually sending this one out. And I just ordered online 100 stamps from the post office that will be delivered to my house.

That should circumvent my biggest problem of acquiring stamps. I can hand off stamped envelopes to anyone other than me and they'll get mailed. At least that's the plan. Wish me luck that we I get out another version of these before the bridal shower/luncheon/hobby day.

The Verdict On The Ascot

In a previous post, I talked about Mr. Kettle and his journey to get clothes for the men in the wedding party. I talked about the ascot he wanted to wear and how I was very much against it.

I put up a poll and asked if you all thought he should go with the ascot or not. Some people put up some comments that were... harsh... to say the least. Ouch guys. You know Mr. Kettle reads this blog, right? As well as his mother, Mima Kettle. You can't say those things like we're having girl time over martinis. But I digress.

Most of you seemed to think he should be able to wear what he wants since that's what I'm doing. I don't necessarily agree with that because he and I have lots of input regularly on what we wear from day to day. I checked with him to make sure he was okay with my dress length, color, and style. Believe me, if he'd wanted me in an all white trumpet gown with a 10 ft train and I didn't look terrible in it, that might be what I was wearing. But again, I digress.

The hive voted on the poll, over 100 people gave their opinions. It was about even, but now it keeps creeping in the direction of... ascot! I have to say at first this didn't make me happy. Mr. Kettle and I got into 2-3 pretty heated discussions about it. It wasn't even about the ascot (at least not on my end), but the tux in general, as well as communication between him and other male members of the wedding party. It was bad, real bad.

I think after he and I got into it at Mima and Poppa Kettle's house this past Sunday, the dams broke. He realized he was kind of being a jerk. I realized I was kind of being a jerk. We both stopped our jerkiness and came to a compromise.

Image: Compromise Cartoon via Calbuzz

 Our compromise was that he would get the ascot. Mima Kettle pointed out that he didn't have much of a neck anyways, so losing it wasn't a big deal. He will probably get a black ascot to wear with the black tuxes the men will be wearing. The groomsmen will wear black tuxes, black vests, and purple ties. The ushers will wear black tuxes, taupe vests, and taupe ties. The ring bearers will wear black tuxes, taupe vests, and taupe bow ties. Daddy Kettle and Poppa Kettle will both wear black tuxes, black vests, and black ties.

I agreed to help Mr. Kettle make sure he was getting the right colors for the suits, and he agreed to let me pester him about informing the wedding party guys of what their responsibilities are for their wedding day clothes. Here is what they'll be wearing.



Image: Perry Ellis Virgo Tux via Formally Modern Tuxedo

Hot right? They will look fantastic on their day, ascot and all. It feels good to let go of my apprehensions and not let my crazy bride brain cause a rift in otherwise happy feelings Mr. Kettle and I have had toward each other throughout the planning process.

Bride Brain Image via Tara Getting Married Blog
This particular picture can be traced back through several blogs that always source yet another blog.

How did you settle differences in wedding planning ideas? What are your guys wearing for your wedding?

Great Hair & Makeup Advice

When I first told my friend who is a Mary Kay consultant as well as my hairstylist about my engagement, they both launched into plans for the wedding. I've read enough posts around the hive to be aware that having a good plan in place ahead of time can save you a lot of hassle in the long run and avert a possibly crisis.

So, hive, I will share with you what these two lovely ladies have told me in hopes that someone else (especially with my type of skin or hair) may benefit from their expertise.

Skin care: My skin type is combination skin. That means I have some areas that are normal, some that are dry, and some that are oily. I've been blessed in the skin department people. I've never had any terrible outbreaks or bad acne, even in puberty. But choosing the right products that make my skin neither dry nor oily has been a delicate balancing act. I use a Dove Bar on my face and skin because it has amazing moisturizers in it. I use Oil of Olay body lotion as well as Palmer's Cocoa Butter. My skin stays smooth and healthy because of it. We also do a number of Mary Kay products that are targeted towards someone in my age range. There's a long list of products I use, But I use them all every day for the most part, in addition to drinking lots of water.

Image: Oil of Olay Lotion via Bzz Agent

Image: Palmer's Cocoa Butter via Oh My Beauty

Image: Mary Kay TimeWise Night Restore Complex

Image: Mary Kay TimeWise Eye Cream

Image: Mary Kay TimeWise 3-in-1 Cleanser

Image: Mary Kay TimeWise Moisturizer

Image: Mary Kay Tinted Moisturizer in Bronze 2

That's a lot o' products for real y'all. We didn't add them all at once. I first tried the lotion back in 2007 and we just added the tinted moisturizer a little over a month ago. NEVER add multiple products at once if you can help it. How else can you identify what's working and what isn't?

Make-up plan: We are doing a classic Mary Kay Color Party for all my bridesmaids and Mr. Kettle's maid of honor MOH Sis. We will each get to play around with makeup colors and get a personally designed color palette for our day of makeup that will be based off our skin tones and the wedding colors. I don't know when in the world we'll get it scheduled, but I'm looking forward to it!

Hair care: My hairstylist has told me that keeping my locs healthy all the time is very important. There's not much we have to do for preparation for the wedding in terms of normal maintenance. But what we are focusing on is hair color. My locs are not my natural hair color. I can play with color a bit more because the hair won't get brittle or break since it's not being combed/brushed. But it is important to keep it from getting too dry. We deep condition my hair so it says a nice color and doesn't end up brassy or faded. She makes her own hair care products and if she gets a website or begins to sell it online, I'll let you know. Anyone in the Chicago area with specific questions, just ask and I'll pass on the info.

Hair plan: We're searching for the perfect hairstyle. But we're also playing with color now so we don't try a dye job two days before the wedding that I hate. Right now my hair is red, but I may want to go more golden brown in February. The plan is to try in out in January in case we need to adjust it lighter or darker.

Wedding Planning Tip #8: Have a real plan in place for your pre-wedding beauty regiment. Please don't shock your skin or hair right before your wedding.

Do you (did you) have a pre-wedding skin and hair care plan? Did it work?