When Did I Become So Indecisive?

I've had meetings with vendors and known right away if I wanted to sign on the line. I could just tell that they were right for me. It hit me like it did when I knew Mr. Kettle was the man for me. That awesome feeling I felt about my dress and my wedding venue was felt with a couple vendors.

Image via The Gloss

But then... nothing. No pangs of love drawing me in and letting me know I'd found the vendor for me.

Okay, complete honesty. That title is a bit misleading, hive. I'm not a decisive person by nature. I'm opinionated as hell, but most of my friends know that I can be indecisive. When I'm being indecisive, I just want someone to choose for me. But in wedding world, you end up with either pushy relatives or hands-off relatives. I've got this weird mix going.

They offer up all they're opinions and suggestions unsolicited. But when I actually want them to make a decision for me, I get no help. They want to make sure I get what I want and that I'm not being pushed into a decision I'll regret. I love them all so much for that because I know every detail of the day will be exactly how I prefer it.

But when I seriously honestly have no preference, I'm lost!

At least I wasn't lost when it really counted! / Image via A Scrapbook of Memories

I still can't decide between the two florists. Their prices are similar, and we went the same flower selections, so there's no difference. I know I'll love the flowers no matter who does them because I love the options we went with. I'm seriously considering flipping a coin to decide.

I prefer the second DOC (day-of-coordinator) over the first, but that's mostly because her price was $1,000 cheaper. Yeah, you read that right, it's a huge, huge, price  difference. But now my parents are wondering if we really need one.

Momma Kettle knows someone at her job who got married at my venue. The husband said they didn't need a DOC. Of course, they didn't have one. And how often is the groom aware of the details of the day that don't actually get attended to? I asked my mom to get his wife's number so I could ask her.

The decisions that need to be made are piling up. I thought by now I'd be done with all our vendors and able to focus on fun details, like finishing our invitations! I will do a post soon on our final mock up. It's hot and way better than anything I could come up with on my own.

But I'm not done making vendor decisions and I don't know how to get done. The one thing I do know is that I have no desire to meet more vendors in search of that love pang.

How do you make decisions when you're unsure? Is flipping a coin really that bad?

Planning For Inclement Weather

Most weddings happen in the summer months. June is the most popular month for weddings. People fight over getting the perfect wedding day.

Image via Gazillion Movies

I have avoided this issue by choosing to get married in February. Mr. Kettle and I have been very happy with our selection of wedding date. But there is one possible hitch to our happy wedding: winter Illinois weather.

There was a terrible storm this past winter. In Chicago, a little snow doesn't bother us. But when this storm was on it's way, people went to the grocery store and then went home. They didn't come back out for at least a couple days. There were no cops or buses on the street; who would drive a vehicle through a few feet of snow? There was no one out except Walgreens employees.

I didn't think too much about that happening to our wedding. I figured that through sheer will, the weather would be nothing but a bit of sunshine and light snow. I'd stand there in my pretty dress with the matching veil and perhaps a lovely fur coat taking in a few snow flakes and hopefully some wintry sunshine. Kind of like this.

Personal cartoon. Yeah, you all will be subjected to my cartoons now... I mostly put on the coat so Mr. Kettle won't see the part of the dress he doesn't know about.

But when Hurricane/Tropical Storm sidelined a few weddings, I started thinking about the real possibility that something could happen to keep my wedding from occurring on the day or at the location we're planning on. At our tasting next month, I will bring up the issue with our venue to see if they have any contingency plans they go with for winter events.

That is not enough for me though. I looked online and found wedding insurance. My best internet friend Google brought up four sites that I took a look at.

They are: Wedding Protector Plan, WedSure, WedSafe, and The Event Helper.

After looking at all the options, it's really best that I consult with our venue to see which one of these would be best for us. I'm not sure how much coverage we need and what our backup wedding plan is. Also, I don't know if we should be getting coverage just for postponing the event. Perhaps we should add photographer coverage, deposit coverage? And what in the world is professional counseling coverage?

I'm thinking worst case scenario, we can get over to my church which is right across the street from my parents' house and next door to my pastor's house. We could get married there even in a blizzard, we'd just have to figure out a party to celebrate with family and friends later. There's a lot to figure out, but I've got a couple of months to sort it out.

Are you getting wedding insurance? Are you worried about Mother Nature altering your carefully laid plans?

Kettle Color Cull

Anyone want to say this post title three times fast? It's hard. Hehe, I crack me up.

Okay hive, it was quite the journey to our current color palette, but I'm very happy with how it turned out. I've alluded to our colors here and there and mentioned some changes we went through. Ultimately, I'm very happy with how it turned out.

When Mr. Kettle first proposed, I was thinking blue. Like a nice, happy, royal blue.

Image: Royal Blue Tuxedo Vest from Tuxedos Online

That didn't last long. Mr. Kettle and I agreed to it the night we got engaged, and we told my parents the idea and they loved it. Within 24 hours, his mother Mima Kettle suggested we do more of a royal purple instead.

Image: Royal Purple Paint Color from Art-Paints.com

Everyone liked that idea, including me. I was trying to pick a color that wasn't too feminine, but Mr. Kettle liked the idea of purple. So that became our color.

I was hesitant to nail down the rest of our colors because I knew I didn't want a white dress, but I didn't know what color I'd end up with. I was still thinking about that floral number. We were in color limbo for a couple weeks just on that image alone.

Luckily, Momma Kettle and I, along with FNIL Sniffles, FSIL Grand, and FSIL Hon, quickly chose a wedding dress for me. Knowing I'd have a taupe/tan/coffee/whatever dress (yes, those of you who guessed that one have yet another tip that you're thinking of the right dress!), I was given a bit more direction for the colors.

Mr. Kettle had this tie I hated, but I noticed was the perfect color scheme. The taupe in it perfectly matched my dress and it looked great next to black. Also, there were gold accents in the tie that matched something else: my shoes!

Image: Badgley Mischka Foxy Pumps / Available for Sale on Weddingbee by norahw!

I saw these lovely shoes in Lord and Taylor when I was shopping for birthday shoes last October. I immediately purchased them. I danced the night away and haven't worn them since because they're so fancy. I brought them with me to try on with wedding dresses and they went so well with my dress, it was an easy decision to make these my Something Old!

So we had purple, taupe/tan/coffee/whatever, and black, with gold accents. I felt like we needed to pick either white or ivory to round out the colors, but I couldn't decide. I did know I could see a sea of white-ish roses for bouquets or decorations, so we had to pick something in that value range.
There was a purple bridesmaid dress in there that went perfectly with my dress, the shades were sooo complimentary. That was the color I went with for my Thank You wreath for our e-pics. But that color choice didn't last long.

I'll explain how we got away from that shade of purple when I explain how we ended up with the bridesmaid dresses for my ladies. But just know for now that after searching for dresses, we changed to a magical color created by one Bill Levkoff called Regency.



Image: Bill Levkoff Color Swatch by Ella Park Bridal

 That color was a magical special color. It looks purple in real life. A beautiful, rich purple that compliments the skin tone of all my girls. And bonus, it photographs blue! And the blue color that shows up in photos is very similar to the color I wanted in the first place.

I couldn't decide between white and ivory so I basically flipped a mental coin and picked ivory because the color felt richer and warmer, which made me feel better emotionally about the colors for our wedding.

So now, our colors are: Regency, Coffee, Ivory, Black, and Gold accents. Thanks to Adobe Kuler, I was able to play around until I got just the right colors for our color palette.

By now you're all thinking, "enough talking! Just show us the colors!!!" Okay, here you go.



Image: Color Palette on Adobe Kuler

Having this palette has been super useful for things like our wedding invitations, which have just begun to be designed, yay!

Also for flower choices, and to help the guys visualize what color vests they'll be wearing. Which could be any of those. Except the gold. This isn't the 1970s.

How did you choose your color palette? Did it change a million times?

How To Be A Rebel Bride - Wedding Dress Edition

personal image

You will see this image I made in Paint (on my work PC) a lot. I do some rebellious things. I call myself a rebel a lot, but usually as a joke. My mother thinks I'm this bohemian girl. I've got the dreadlocks, I withdrew from med school on what seemed like a whim, I decided to get married after knowing Mr. Kettle for less than a year.

I march to the beat of my own drummer. But to a good number of my friends, I'm no rebel. I'm more traditional than most of them, if not more quirky as well. But I guess rebel is in the eye of the beholder...?

That being said, I've come to embrace being a rebel. Having that quick and dirty label allows me to make more decisions about this wedding without too much fuss from Momma Kettle and my FMIL who I will call Mima Kettle from this point on.

How exactly does one become a rebel bride? The first step is to pick something big and go against the grain with much gusto (ha! I made a multi-language pun!). For me, it was the wedding dress. I was in a cotillion and I wore the white wedding dress. With all the rules of a church run cotillion, I was all buttoned up. My dress was similar to this:

Image: Long-Sleeved Satin and Lace Ball Gown from David's Bridal

Of course my dress wasn't nearly this pretty. As the time, dresses were all about pearl beading and heavy appliques. I there was no way I was allowed to rock the sheer lave sleeves. Needless to say, I wasn't going for anything like that AT ALL this time around.

Momma Kettle and I were no strangers to discussing my upcoming wedding long before I had a FI in mind. Once I was engaged and wedding planning could be discussed without obligatory apologies for being presumptive, we could hash out concrete details. I told her long ago I didn't want a white dress.

I don't think she thought I would still feel that way when confronted with real wedding plans, but that wasn't the case.

At first, I was envisioning something like this:



Image: Lovely Ish Blog

A self-awareness check of my wide hips and short height and torso quickly cured me of wanting this dress, but I was in love with the luxurious looking fabric, the neutral tone, and the feminine romance.

After more searching, I came across more dresses I loved.

Image: The Bridal Shop Website / Delilah Dress by Mon Cheri Bridals

This first one was about as close as I figured I'd ever get to a white dress. I loved all the detailing on it, but wasn't crazy about the train.

Image: Unique-Vintage Website

I loved the neckline on this dress. I noticed it looked more cream than white so that made me happy. The price of it really made me happy.

Image: Strapless Printed Organza Dress By David's Bridal

When I first saw this dress, it was more orange flowers than pink flowers. They've recently updated it, but kept the same link. I loved this dress so much but really couldn't see how organza could work for a February wedding. I even dragged BM Libra out for a secret shopping trip to try this dress on before I was officially engaged.


Personal Photo: BM Libra, who's birthday is only 3 days before mine, looking cool in a stressful situation, ie, visiting a friend at the hospital.

She kept my secret and here I am revealing it to the entire internet. But they didn't have the dress available for me to try on that day. No harm no foul, right?

I ended up making a 25 page document on Microsoft Word for my mother that showed every dress I thought I might want. The only ones that were white either came in other colors or had colorful details. Did I mention I didn't want a white dress?

Well, we had to narrow it down, so I looked at the list and realized I was really loving dresses by Allure Bridals. They were just my style.

The following pictures are all Allure Bridal Gowns that are representative of why I love their dresses so much.

#8854

#8866



#8867



#8753

#8803



#8754



#8712

With all these dresses, I thought I might find a white dress I could love. It seemed like an amazing compromise for Momma Kettle and I to make. She never said I couldn't wear a non-white dress, but let's just say that I knew it would be best for everyone if we met in the middle.

The two bridal salons in Chicago that carry lots o' Allure Dresses were, according to the website, were House of Brides in Oak Lawn, IL and Eva's Bridal in Tinley Park, IL.

We made appointments for both shops on one Saturday. I called up Mima Kettle and lots of her offspring. Side note: I didn't mention it yet, but Mr. Kettle's family is huge. Huge! Okay, so I also called up one of my FSILs, we'll call her FSIL Grand (cause she's a grandmother).

Mima Kettle couldn't join us, but FSIL Grand could along with another FSIL Hon (cause she's from Honduras). and FSIL Grand's daughter, FNIL Sniffles (cause she has allergies). Y'all know there's going to be a ton of people mentioned in connection with this wedding, right? I should have a giveaway for whoever can keep them all straight.

My mother and I went to the first dress shop and I tried on a lot of dresses. I wasn't allowed to take pictures. But... I... snuck and took a quick one of the bevy of dresses I tried on.



Personal Photo

This dress shopping trip was very useful. I learned that Momma Kettle has to have her arm twisted to give me an honest opinion if she disagrees with my original assessment. I learned that my instinctive hate for trains is correct because I'm so little their weight makes me tip over. I learned that when I really like a dress, I will twirl like I'm 6 years old and demand a veil like I'm a Bridezilla.

Look at my personal photo again. The dress all the way to the right look familiar? I posted it above as one of the ones that caught my eye online. When I walked into the store, I promptly forgot about it. But my dress coordinator pulled it as an option for me and it was her piece de resistance.

I got into that dress and loved it! Here it is again from the website:

Image: Allure Bridals Gown #8803

I had never considered a tea-length gown until this point, but it ended up being an amazing length dress on my 5'0" frame. The a-line skirt was just my speed. The sweetheart necklace was something I already knew worked amazingly well for me.

I was in love and ready to buy the dress right then and there. Momma Kettle said we could get that dress if I wanted, or we could go to our other dress appointment and come back if that's really what I wanted. I understood that was code for "Why must you always go for the first thing you fall in love with? Explore your options boho girl!"

I knew she also wasn't thrilled with the organza 3D flowers (we didn't even know that was a thing until that morning), so we moved on. I told her as we left she was probably throwing away her one chance to get me into an all-white dress.

We headed to the next store and we had a super friendly consultant. She pulled a number of dresses in our price range and started putting me in dresses. Right as we were getting a bit energy-depleted, FSIL Grand, FSIL Hon, and FNIL Sniffles joined us. Their energy really revamped the party and I tried on upwards of 25 dresses.

My dress consultant was having fun because she said it like playing dress up with her own little Barbie doll. I couldn't be called life size because she had at least a foot of height on me even before her heels. During all this dress-up, I found a dress that I truly loved, just not as much as the one at the other store.

The dress was by a designer I really liked that I'd never heard of before that day. His name is Justin Alexander. I was all set to go back and get that first dress with the 3D organza flowers when I happened to mention to my dress coordinator that I really truly wanted a non-white dress. She told me the one I had just taken off comes in taupe. I was over the moon to try it on. So she dug it out of it's box. No other bride had yet tried it on, it had just come from the designer.

It. Was. Heaven. Heaven!! If I can get Mr. Kettle to swear he won't peek, I'll post a picture of it here. But it was AH-mazing, hive. It was everything I loved about that first dress, but not in white, and without the 3D flowers (which made Momma Kettle happy, I think). For the first time all day, I truly felt like a bride. Not like a catalog model, but like me, as a BRIDE.

I think our dress consultant was a bit surprised when we had our "Say Yes to the Dress" moment and no one cried or got emotional. The Kettles, my side and Mr. Kettles, are emotional people, but criers we are not. We express our emotions more with drama and laughter and the occasional look-that-could-kill. So, sorry dress lady that we had no use for your tissue.

It was an easy decision for me to get that dress once I put on the matching taupe veil and twirled around the store. Momma Kettle called Grandmother Kettle to update her on our shopping trip. Grandmother Kettle reminded her that I was unusual and therefore would want an unusual dress. Seeing my enthusiasm as well as the enthusiasm of my new sisters and niece, she was sold. We put down a deposit on the dress that day and got their "love it at first sight" discount.

My coordinator left me alone in the dressing room and I, along with FNIL Sniffles pulled out my camera and took beaucoup photos so I could show Mima Kettle and all my bridesmaids. I really want to put up the photos here, hive, but I just can't take that chance yet.

I have a habit of finding something on Day One and knowing that's the one. It happened with my wedding dress, my wedding venue, my new apartment, and my wedding shoes. It would have happened with Mr. Kettle had I not been so emotionally cut off when we first started hanging out.

It bugs Momma Kettle and Mr. Kettle because they think I'm not exploring all my options. But I'm so indecisive that when I feel strong about a decision, I go with my gut. I've never made a gut decision and changed my mind after more thought, at least not about anything semi-permanent (permanent enough that it involves a down-payment).

Up next, I'll explain how I got rebellious on the choice of wedding venue.

How many trips to stores did it take before you found your dress? Did those shopping with you agree with your selection? Did you end up with the dress you thought you'd buy?