Heating Up For The Kettle Wedding: A Pre-Wedding Dinner

On our last stop before official wedding recaps, we have our rehearsal dinner. We decided not to call it that because it was on a different day than the rehearsal and also in a different city. We called it a pre-wedding dinner.

Our schedule the week of the wedding was: Wednesday get married, Thursday rehearse for wedding, Friday have rehearsal dinner, and Saturday have wedding. It worked for us. It made everyone else think Mr. Kettle and I were crazy, but it worked for us.

The pre-wedding dinner was scheduled for a certain time. I'm honestly still not sure what time that dinner started. All I know is that as Mr. Kettle and I were getting ready, we kept getting calls from people asking where we were.

That tells us we were qutie behind schedule. I don't know how we got the wrong time, but there was nothing we could do about it at that point. We loaded up the car with our wedding thank you gifts for our parents and wedding party. There were thirty five bags. I'm not joking.

We got a separate gift for each parent, one for each host/hostess, the bridesmaids/men, the groomsmen, the maids of honor, the best men, the junior bridesmaids, the flower girls, and the ring bearers. That's thirty-five people.

At the party, when we finally arrived, the place was packed. The slight feeling of being overwhelmed that happened at our engagement party doubled. There were maybe only 20 more people at this function, but I think it's proximity to the wedding made us more anxious.

Mr. Kettle and I agreed that we were soooo glad we were already married. We greeted everyone while slowly making our way to the back of the room. They brought us food and we dined on really delicious caribbean food. The restaurant we were at is actually owned by friends of Mr. Kettle's family, so they took good care of us.

In movies, the rehearsal dinner is all about speeches and giving gifts to the wedding party and other loveliness. In our real life, there was mostly a lot of shouting because there were so many people there. At least 1/3 of our guest list, including wedding party, was at this pre-wedding dinner.

When we handed out our gifts to our wedding party, we had to track people down in a crowd of over one hundred people. That was interesting. I'll wrap this up with the only picture I have from the evening. It shows our cakes (yes, plural) along with some of the wall decorations, which were in honor of our honeymoon to Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Personal Photo: Those cakes were pretty tasty!

Heating Up For The Kettle Wedding: A Wedding Rehearsal

I'm skipping a step here because we got married before we had our wedding rehearsal. Long story, and if you don't already know it, I'll explain when I start my recaps of our actual wedding day.

Yet again, I have no pictures to accompany my story, and I feel bad about that. But who wants to see a bunch of pictures with people standing around and cracking the occasional side joke? Certainly not me. So I'll stick with the highlights.

Our day-of-coordinator wasn't at the rehearsal. On her drive down to Joliet, she got into a Pretty bad car accident and was taken to the hospital. She spent the rest of the weekend trying to cope on an large amount of painkillers. That was... interesting.

With such a large party, people trickled in slowly instead of on time and that made everyone feel like everything was taking forever. But in the abscence of the coordinator, Momma Kettle and my pastor stepped it up and ran the rehearsal very well.

Momma Kettle stressed how important it was that everyone aim to be ready by 1:00 PM on Saturday so that we would be on time to begin taking pictures with the photographer promptly at 2:00 PM. I watched everyone's eyes glaze over and was grateful a lot of them were spending Friday night at Joliet to reduce tardiness.

There were some issues with the venue staff and my mom set them straight. She wasn't a full blown Momzilla, but she got things put right when they were wrong. She quickly got a reputation amongst Chris' friends who didn't know her well as a regulator. My mom is awesome at handling people who aren't putting forth their best effort.

After we practiced getting up and down the aisle, Mr. Kettle and I began waltzing in the back of the ballroom because we were bored and we tend to break into dance. When the flower girls, ring bearers, and jr. bridesmaids followed after us, they wanted to dance to. So while my pastor gave extra instructions to the adult members of the wedding party, we waltzed our hearts out along with 6 children from our families. That was actually one of my favorite memories from the days right before the wedding.

Since we were already married, Mr. Kettle and I were wearing our wedding bands. That caught a couple of people's eyes. We explained to anyone who asked that we had gotten married the day before. No one seemed outright mad, just very confused. We didn't tell anybody beforehand except my maid of honor and our officiants. But everyone was still very excited for Saturday.

We left the rehearsal with an idea of how to get up and down the aisle, which was really the most important part right?

How was your wedding rehearsal? Did you make any lasting memories from the event?

Heating Up For The Kettle Wedding: A Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

Mr. Kettle always wanted a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, so our maids of honor and best men made it happen.I will tell you now that there were no photos taken by me. I know our friends like to party, and I didn't want any evidence of anything left around afterward.

The men's night started with all the guys meeting at my apartment and getting whisked away in a stretch SUV to a strip club of the best man's choosing. From what I heard, they had a lot of fun. Hardly anyone did anything that they're ladies would resent. And the ones that did had ladies that set the limits a little too strictly. Nuff said, moving on.

The women's night started with all the gals meeting downtown at what was supposed to be a male revue. But the club owners sold the club a couple days before the event and so there was no revue. We thanked our lucky stars we didn't purchase advance tickets and went to a bar down the street. We danced and laughed and had a good time. I played beer pong for the first time with a very handsome man who did an amazing job of walking the line of appropriate behavior toward the bride at a bachelorette party.

We were all supposed to meet up at Sound Bar. I'll skip the drama that ensued and focus on those of us inside the party. The maids of honor/best men got bottle service. My mother also got bottle service, so we ended up with several bottles for everyone to share. One of the best things about having a big group in a club like that is that you have those drinks and you have seats. Being able to take a load off and sit down occasionally it priceless.

I know you caught in the last paragraph that my mother got bottle service. She didn't send money, she was there with us. My mother likes to dance and she's so much fun to be around. We invited her and my father to the party, but my dad didn't come. My mom definitely came and hung out all night. There was one point where the people who had been there since the beginning had basically danced themselves out, but my mom, along with only two more of my friends, were still dancing. I was impressed and felt like I had big fun grown-up shoes to fill one day.

We were set to party all night, but I got tired pretty early. Instead of staying out until the club closed, we left around 2:00 am. Neither Mr. Kettle nor I drove, so my mother gave us a ride home. We were glad we had a joint party because we love nothing more than hanging with all our friends, having a great time.

The bachelor/bachelorette party was the weekend before the wedding, so once that was past, we were in crunch time. It didn't help that we were now having two weddings. Getting that chance to unwind and just party so close to the wedding as a big group was a great idea Mr. Kettle had.

Did you even consider combining your bachelor and bachelorette parties? Is there photo evidence of the evening? Was your mom there?

It Takes Two To Get Us Down The Aisle

I've mentioned once or twice how large our wedding party is. Part of the reason it's so large is that we're counting everyone, including our two officiants. They are two men who each like a member of either mine or Mr. Kettle's family. They are our pastors.

They both do pre-marital counseling for couples they marry. Mr. Kettle and I couldn't decide which one we wanted to do our counseling, so we committed to doing it with both. Now, we didn't think about how busy our schedules are. It's been a very long time since we made that commitment, and we are just now going to our counseling sessions.

There are some similarities between the two sessions. We left each one feeling pretty good about our plan to get married. There isn't much that was brought up (at least so far) that we haven't already discussed in detail.

Also, Mr. Kettle and I are pretty well matched in a couple ways. For one, we're both apparently teenagers when it comes to certain subjects. You know what I mean. We took a look at our counseling workbook, saw the word sex, and broke into giggles.

I doubt we would've done that if it weren't for the fact that we were alone in the room, but it was made all the more funny to us because we were across the table from each other and we started laughing at exactly the same time. Definitely a classic moment for us as a couple.

But on a more serious note, this counseling has done what I thinks it's supposed to do. It's made us take a long hard look at our relationship and really assess if we're making the right decision. We've talked about God, communication, love, trust, empathy, compassion, fun, and yes even sex.

If it turned out that we weren't ready for marriage in the eyes of the men who are supposed to marry us, we'd be back to the drawing board, trying to make it right. Luckily, we seem to be on the right page.

Did you have pre-marital counseling? Did it leave you feeling good about your decision to marry?

Gifting My Gals

I've heard all over the hive how lovely Etsy is. I have always agreed, but I haven't had much luck. I turned to Etsy to find a cheaper alternative to my dream veil. So far, no one has replied to my custom order requests, or the replies had price offers that were no better than what I was going to get from the bridal shop.

But when I gave up on my veil, the possibilities started opening up. Etsy is the perfect place to find great gifts for your wedding party! I've got a huge wedding party. It's really, really, really big. Yet I still want to gift these amazing people who have decided to be a part of our wedding. I just don't want to spend an amount equivalent to the cost of our flowers or honeymoon.

Etsy has a ton of options, and just by browsing around, I've found some amazing ideas for gifts. It's like they knew I was coming! I knew I didn't want to give the gifts in a plain old paper gift bag, I wanted to give their gifts in a bad they could use again, a bag that would be another gift in and of itself. Seller Personalized Gifts by J had a bunch of options that I like.

Image via Etsy Seller Personalized Gifts by J

Image via Personalized Gifts by J

Image via Personalized Gifts by J

 And this seller gives a discount for buying multiples. That makes this bride happy. I intend to buy bags for my 6 bridesmaids, the 2 maids of honor, the 2 junior bridesmaids, the 3 hostesses, the 2 flowers girls, and one for myself. that's 16 bags!

I also saw something that finally pulled me off my desire to get flasks for all the women. I know my mother may disapprove, and that's not a deal breaker, but it's a deal bender. So I found another option. Something girly, decorative, still personalized, but much more classy. Oh, and did I mention waaaaay more affordable? Hive, I introduce you to Seller Madison Craft. She has so many of these lovely hand mirrors to choose from. I looked at them all and picked out ones that would be perfect for the women in the bridal party.

Image via MadisonCraft

Image via MadisonCraft

Image via MadisonCrafts

 I figure that these gifts, along with the gold earrings Grandmother Kettle is buying for the bridesmaids is a great start. I intend to gift these chicks at the rehearsal dinner, so I'm thinking about including supplies for what will likely turn into a big pre-wedding slumber party later that night.

Also, I still have to figure out what to gift the men. I'm hoping Mr. Kettle can help with that. He's got 8 groomsmen, we each have a best man, and I have 2 additional bridesmen. Le sigh.

What gifts did you give your wedding party? How much do you love Etsy?

Extra, Extra, Read All About It!

My best man, BM Doc, has an older brother who was engaged while we were in college. His wedding party was spread out geographically. The best way for him to keep everyone in the loop was to let them know is a very classic way: a newsletter.

I loved this idea then, and I love it still now. While we have five people in our wedding party out of town, that's actually only a small fraction of our hugely large wedding party. But needing to keep everyone on the same page has been... a task.

In order to better serve the needs of our my sanity, I came up with a great newsletter. This isn't just for the bridesmaids though. It will go to the bridesmaids, the jr. bridesmaids and bridal attendants, the groomsmen, the parents of the flowers girls and ring bearers, and also to the ushers and hostesses. That's a lot o' mail to send out. But it will be worth it to keep anything from falling through the cracks.

I'm not sure how often I'll have to do these newsletters, but this one was right before the 6 months-to-wedding mark, so there's no way to tell. In this newsletter, I covered: an introduction of who was all in the wedding party (in case anyone didn't know yet); a reminder of our engagement party in 2 weeks; information about our changed venue; clothing FAQs, as we're coming up on the date to order these items; other cute-sy things.

I tried to make it interesting visually and interesting to read. Lots of white space, nice graphics, pictures, and a fluid layout are all essential to making a great newsletter. It wouldn't be my first choice, but I made the whole thing in our wedding colors. The taupe came out a bit too orange, but I think it will do.

I imagine I'll have to do another one of these at least in December right before the bridal luncheon. And probably another one in January for the wedding shower and bachelor/bachelorette party. And of course, one with final instructions leading up to the wedding weekend.

And of course, by now you're dying to see the newsletter. No? Well, I want you to see it anyway. Tell me what you think of the layout. I used a screenshot so you could see the intended taupe color instead of what came out of the printer.

The writing really didn't look as small on the printout as it looks in the picture.I was really hoping they would like it. I didn't intend to come up with anything so awesome that people are putting it in their scrapbooks, but I did want to keep them abreast of everything without having to make 40 calls. Score one for finding a way to have less stress with my gargantuan wedding party.





Okay hive. I first wrote that post right after I made the flyer, about 10 days before our engagement party. I must confess, I never actually sent it out. Organization FAIL. But it was a great first try and I'm looking forward to doing it again in the next couple months, and actually sending this one out. And I just ordered online 100 stamps from the post office that will be delivered to my house.

That should circumvent my biggest problem of acquiring stamps. I can hand off stamped envelopes to anyone other than me and they'll get mailed. At least that's the plan. Wish me luck that we I get out another version of these before the bridal shower/luncheon/hobby day.

Put On Some Pants!

Alternate Post Title: Clothing The Kettle Men. I chose this title because one of my favorite moments in The Hangover. It makes me think of Mr. Kettle because he's morally opposed to wearing pants when he doesn't have to. I alluded to that in a comment about MOH Sis in a previous post. Our wedding is such an occasion for which he must wear pants.

Watch the clip here. Around 2:43 is when the pants funniness begins.

Needing to have pants for our wedding, Mr. Kettle went with his best man to find tuxes for the males in our wedding party. There are a lot of males in our wedding party. There is: Mr. Kettle, my best man, his best man, my two guy attendants, and his eight groomsman. Oh, plus both our fathers, 2 ushers, and 2 ring bearers. That makes 17! Yikes!


Freak Out! Image by Bezinga

Okay, hive, I just had to get that out. I'm calm.

Mr. Kettle went out that first time and narrowed down the possibilities to two options. I asked him to take photos for the hive... but... well... there aren't any. He went back with his best man GM Light and another groomsman GM Dark (named for their skin tones, think white chocolate and dark chocolate, they have great skin) to try on the suits again.

The one picture he took shows his preference for clothing. They decided on black tuxes and black vests. Apparently, colored vest look too prom-y. This is what I get for telling Mr. Kettle the clothing was all his decision. The other thing is that he wants to wear an ascot. An ascot!!

Hive, am I being ridiculous for hating the idea of Mr. Kettle in an ascot? He likes it a lot. A lot. I think it makes him look short. I think it makes him look pretentious. He disagrees. I don't know what to do except let it go and let him wear what he wants so he's happy in his clothes on our big day. At least the groomsman will be in regular ties...

Here's a picture from my inspiration board on Weddingwire. It's more along the lines of what I saw the men wearing.



Image via

Personal image: Mr. Kettle's crappy iPhone pic

Poll: If you could choose would you go for no ascot or ascot? In full disclosure, he's going to wear a solid one, not a striped one.

Option 1: Ascot Yes! Why don't you see how awesome this looks?
Option 2: No Ascot! Is he trying to be funny by suggesting this?

D-I-Y Didn't I Outsource... Inviting Our Wedding Party

Hive, I must tell you, the first two DIY projects I talked about weren't actually my first. You're never supposed to lie about your first, but.. I was ashamed. I was proud of what I did at the time, but then... well...

You look on Weddingbee and someone points out how something you just spent hours on was probably a terribly unimaginative, wholly unimportant, overwhelmingly uncreative waste of time and money. They weren't talking about you specifically, they were talking about your type of project. You hang your head in shame and vow never to speak of your first.

An amazing amount of creativity finds it way to the surface and you are overwhelmingly uncreative no more. Your unimportance suddenly is less whole and your imagination is far less terrible. The clouds part and you put out good work.

I did the Thank You wreath and the Save The Date Bunting in mid June and felt really proud of it. But as more time passed, I became less ashamed of my project from early June. I've decided to own up and show you my real first. So what if it's a terribly unimaginative, wholly unimportant, overwhelmingly uncreative waste of time and money? I worked hard on it and got my desired results.

So just what am I talking about hive? I'm talking about inviting our wedding party to join us in our wedding party. Even with our large number, we had already asked pretty much everyone except the officiants before we were engaged. So it wasn't a surprise to them what we wanted.

Still, I wanted something more formal. Something they could look back on. Something to seal the deal. And as much as all those beautiful hand-made wedding party invites I've seen around Weddingbee tugged at my heartstrings, I knew there was no way Mr. Kettle and I were about to hand-make 30+ invitations.

So I turned to my best friend for making stuff on my PC: Microsoft Word. I know, I know, why not upgrade to Publisher? Why not use any of the many programs that come standard on a PC just for that purpose? I'm a rebel and I like what I like.

I got on Microsoft Word and began searching for templates. After going through a number of templates, I found one that looked like it was close-ish to the right colors. At that time we were going for blue, not purple.

Also, I hadn't yet decided I was set so firmly against hearts in my not-Valentine's-themed wedding. Plus, I know I'm a sucker for straight lines and striped. So I picked a template and went about trying to make it personal for each person.

This basically involved changing the words to say "Bridesmaid" or "Bridal Attendant" or "Officiant". There wasn't a whole lot to do. We printed them off on this really cute and special fancy paper and I began folding. I left space on each one for Mr. Kettle and I to write a personalized message in it. We split it up according to who's family/friend was being included in the wedding.



Personal Photo: Oh yeah, four-fold Microsoft template. Don't worry, I wasn't under any delusions of creativity with this one.



Personal Photo: I did like the wording, even if I didn't come up with it myself. I did come up with that blue text box on the inside. That counts for something, right?

Personal Photo: These wedding bells turned out to be something that showed up in other places throughout the wedding. Two of everything is an unofficial theme.

We got the envelopes and stuffed them. This will be the only thing for the wedding I would dare hand-address. My handwriting is pretty terrible, so I wouldn't do it for more than 50 things. And all our wedding events have at least 100 people attending.



Personal Photo: Almost forgot to the show the front cover. I messed around with the color, but not much else.



Personal Photo: These envelopes are surprisingly amazing. And super affordable.



Personal Photo: I really liked this paper. The weight wasn't too heavy, and the color was fabulous. It's part of the reason I keep flip-flopping between pure white and creamy ivory for our wedding color.

Personal Photo: Sorry I had to cover up most of this. But I did want you to at least get a glimpse of my sometimey handwriting.

Not my most creative DIY, but our friends and family really enjoyed getting these in the mail. Seeing as how we'd asked most of them to participate before we even were engaged, this made it official for them I think.

How did you invited your WP? Was your invitation waaaay better than mine?