How To Be A Rebel Bride - Wedding Dress Edition

personal image

You will see this image I made in Paint (on my work PC) a lot. I do some rebellious things. I call myself a rebel a lot, but usually as a joke. My mother thinks I'm this bohemian girl. I've got the dreadlocks, I withdrew from med school on what seemed like a whim, I decided to get married after knowing Mr. Kettle for less than a year.

I march to the beat of my own drummer. But to a good number of my friends, I'm no rebel. I'm more traditional than most of them, if not more quirky as well. But I guess rebel is in the eye of the beholder...?

That being said, I've come to embrace being a rebel. Having that quick and dirty label allows me to make more decisions about this wedding without too much fuss from Momma Kettle and my FMIL who I will call Mima Kettle from this point on.

How exactly does one become a rebel bride? The first step is to pick something big and go against the grain with much gusto (ha! I made a multi-language pun!). For me, it was the wedding dress. I was in a cotillion and I wore the white wedding dress. With all the rules of a church run cotillion, I was all buttoned up. My dress was similar to this:

Image: Long-Sleeved Satin and Lace Ball Gown from David's Bridal

Of course my dress wasn't nearly this pretty. As the time, dresses were all about pearl beading and heavy appliques. I there was no way I was allowed to rock the sheer lave sleeves. Needless to say, I wasn't going for anything like that AT ALL this time around.

Momma Kettle and I were no strangers to discussing my upcoming wedding long before I had a FI in mind. Once I was engaged and wedding planning could be discussed without obligatory apologies for being presumptive, we could hash out concrete details. I told her long ago I didn't want a white dress.

I don't think she thought I would still feel that way when confronted with real wedding plans, but that wasn't the case.

At first, I was envisioning something like this:



Image: Lovely Ish Blog

A self-awareness check of my wide hips and short height and torso quickly cured me of wanting this dress, but I was in love with the luxurious looking fabric, the neutral tone, and the feminine romance.

After more searching, I came across more dresses I loved.

Image: The Bridal Shop Website / Delilah Dress by Mon Cheri Bridals

This first one was about as close as I figured I'd ever get to a white dress. I loved all the detailing on it, but wasn't crazy about the train.

Image: Unique-Vintage Website

I loved the neckline on this dress. I noticed it looked more cream than white so that made me happy. The price of it really made me happy.

Image: Strapless Printed Organza Dress By David's Bridal

When I first saw this dress, it was more orange flowers than pink flowers. They've recently updated it, but kept the same link. I loved this dress so much but really couldn't see how organza could work for a February wedding. I even dragged BM Libra out for a secret shopping trip to try this dress on before I was officially engaged.


Personal Photo: BM Libra, who's birthday is only 3 days before mine, looking cool in a stressful situation, ie, visiting a friend at the hospital.

She kept my secret and here I am revealing it to the entire internet. But they didn't have the dress available for me to try on that day. No harm no foul, right?

I ended up making a 25 page document on Microsoft Word for my mother that showed every dress I thought I might want. The only ones that were white either came in other colors or had colorful details. Did I mention I didn't want a white dress?

Well, we had to narrow it down, so I looked at the list and realized I was really loving dresses by Allure Bridals. They were just my style.

The following pictures are all Allure Bridal Gowns that are representative of why I love their dresses so much.

#8854

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With all these dresses, I thought I might find a white dress I could love. It seemed like an amazing compromise for Momma Kettle and I to make. She never said I couldn't wear a non-white dress, but let's just say that I knew it would be best for everyone if we met in the middle.

The two bridal salons in Chicago that carry lots o' Allure Dresses were, according to the website, were House of Brides in Oak Lawn, IL and Eva's Bridal in Tinley Park, IL.

We made appointments for both shops on one Saturday. I called up Mima Kettle and lots of her offspring. Side note: I didn't mention it yet, but Mr. Kettle's family is huge. Huge! Okay, so I also called up one of my FSILs, we'll call her FSIL Grand (cause she's a grandmother).

Mima Kettle couldn't join us, but FSIL Grand could along with another FSIL Hon (cause she's from Honduras). and FSIL Grand's daughter, FNIL Sniffles (cause she has allergies). Y'all know there's going to be a ton of people mentioned in connection with this wedding, right? I should have a giveaway for whoever can keep them all straight.

My mother and I went to the first dress shop and I tried on a lot of dresses. I wasn't allowed to take pictures. But... I... snuck and took a quick one of the bevy of dresses I tried on.



Personal Photo

This dress shopping trip was very useful. I learned that Momma Kettle has to have her arm twisted to give me an honest opinion if she disagrees with my original assessment. I learned that my instinctive hate for trains is correct because I'm so little their weight makes me tip over. I learned that when I really like a dress, I will twirl like I'm 6 years old and demand a veil like I'm a Bridezilla.

Look at my personal photo again. The dress all the way to the right look familiar? I posted it above as one of the ones that caught my eye online. When I walked into the store, I promptly forgot about it. But my dress coordinator pulled it as an option for me and it was her piece de resistance.

I got into that dress and loved it! Here it is again from the website:

Image: Allure Bridals Gown #8803

I had never considered a tea-length gown until this point, but it ended up being an amazing length dress on my 5'0" frame. The a-line skirt was just my speed. The sweetheart necklace was something I already knew worked amazingly well for me.

I was in love and ready to buy the dress right then and there. Momma Kettle said we could get that dress if I wanted, or we could go to our other dress appointment and come back if that's really what I wanted. I understood that was code for "Why must you always go for the first thing you fall in love with? Explore your options boho girl!"

I knew she also wasn't thrilled with the organza 3D flowers (we didn't even know that was a thing until that morning), so we moved on. I told her as we left she was probably throwing away her one chance to get me into an all-white dress.

We headed to the next store and we had a super friendly consultant. She pulled a number of dresses in our price range and started putting me in dresses. Right as we were getting a bit energy-depleted, FSIL Grand, FSIL Hon, and FNIL Sniffles joined us. Their energy really revamped the party and I tried on upwards of 25 dresses.

My dress consultant was having fun because she said it like playing dress up with her own little Barbie doll. I couldn't be called life size because she had at least a foot of height on me even before her heels. During all this dress-up, I found a dress that I truly loved, just not as much as the one at the other store.

The dress was by a designer I really liked that I'd never heard of before that day. His name is Justin Alexander. I was all set to go back and get that first dress with the 3D organza flowers when I happened to mention to my dress coordinator that I really truly wanted a non-white dress. She told me the one I had just taken off comes in taupe. I was over the moon to try it on. So she dug it out of it's box. No other bride had yet tried it on, it had just come from the designer.

It. Was. Heaven. Heaven!! If I can get Mr. Kettle to swear he won't peek, I'll post a picture of it here. But it was AH-mazing, hive. It was everything I loved about that first dress, but not in white, and without the 3D flowers (which made Momma Kettle happy, I think). For the first time all day, I truly felt like a bride. Not like a catalog model, but like me, as a BRIDE.

I think our dress consultant was a bit surprised when we had our "Say Yes to the Dress" moment and no one cried or got emotional. The Kettles, my side and Mr. Kettles, are emotional people, but criers we are not. We express our emotions more with drama and laughter and the occasional look-that-could-kill. So, sorry dress lady that we had no use for your tissue.

It was an easy decision for me to get that dress once I put on the matching taupe veil and twirled around the store. Momma Kettle called Grandmother Kettle to update her on our shopping trip. Grandmother Kettle reminded her that I was unusual and therefore would want an unusual dress. Seeing my enthusiasm as well as the enthusiasm of my new sisters and niece, she was sold. We put down a deposit on the dress that day and got their "love it at first sight" discount.

My coordinator left me alone in the dressing room and I, along with FNIL Sniffles pulled out my camera and took beaucoup photos so I could show Mima Kettle and all my bridesmaids. I really want to put up the photos here, hive, but I just can't take that chance yet.

I have a habit of finding something on Day One and knowing that's the one. It happened with my wedding dress, my wedding venue, my new apartment, and my wedding shoes. It would have happened with Mr. Kettle had I not been so emotionally cut off when we first started hanging out.

It bugs Momma Kettle and Mr. Kettle because they think I'm not exploring all my options. But I'm so indecisive that when I feel strong about a decision, I go with my gut. I've never made a gut decision and changed my mind after more thought, at least not about anything semi-permanent (permanent enough that it involves a down-payment).

Up next, I'll explain how I got rebellious on the choice of wedding venue.

How many trips to stores did it take before you found your dress? Did those shopping with you agree with your selection? Did you end up with the dress you thought you'd buy?